I wish I could remember who, but I recall hearing someone talk about the tyranny of the phone. For some reason I’ve been thinking about that lately. As a culture, we are conditioned to answer the phone whenever it rings—in most cases despite whatever else we are doing. The sharp ring of the phone piercing the gentle sounds of the house demands our attention. We jump up, drop what we are doing, and run towards the nearest handset. The phone trumps all—even the person who is physically present. Of course, cell phones have only compounded the problem. Now we are on call and slaves to interruption wherever we go.
Why does it feel so bad to ignore the phone? Can we not bear the thought of disappointing the caller? Should the caller be disappointed to not have his or her call answered? Is being able to contact someone anytime a rightful expectation? Is that an expectation we ought to fulfill?
I say no. The phone is a convenience, a tool. People managed to communicate before the phone using much slower forms of communication. It’s nice if you happen to call when the recipient is available, but if they are otherwise engaged, then you’ll just have to wait. That’s what voicemail is for. Let’s mind our priorities and not let the phone be our master.
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I completly agree. You might have heard me talk about this before. I like to “be where I am” and “with whom I’m with.” Do we serve phones? Or do phones serve us?
my ipod on the other hand….
I agree that the phone is a convenience for the owner not the person who wants to get in touch with the owner. I think my cell phone has helped rather than compounded the problem for me. Why? First, I had to think about these things a bit more after the potential to be reached was higher and decided that I can answer when it is convenient for me, and second, I now have caller id for people in my phone’s memory and can be more selective about when to answer even when I am available. It is also a lot easier to turn off a cell phone than a land line.
p.s. no, you probably don’t know me
I agree that a ringing phone exerts more power over us than it probably should. But, I have a corollary question. What is the etiquette for responding to an answering machine / voice mail? Is it rude or even “wrong” not to call someone back? I hate calling people back. But, I also get ticked when people don’t call me back. Total depravity strikes again!
I’d say in many cases, yes, it’s rude not to respond, but it really depends on the message. I sometimes get around calling someone back by responding to a phone message with an email message.
I personally love ignoring the phone. ‘course we all know that I am off my rocker, so i suppose it isn’t a good example.